I’m a night person in a day person’s world. I was born a little after midnight. Since then, I’ve spent my time, making adjustments to a world intent on a sunrise to sunset schedule. Often I feel like I’ve landed on an alien planet called Dayworld and can’t get off. No matter how much I call out, “Beam me up, Scotty,” I’m still down here, trying to figure out the landscape.
As I am constantly reminded by the day folks, most people are comfortable with early morning schedules. They like them. Their suggestion is that I snap out of it and get with the program. I am one of the few, the brave few, who think it’s a royal pain to have to get up at six a.m. to welcome in the day.
All my life I’ve heard the expression, “The early bird gets the worm.” Have you ever tried to eat one of those suckers? Yuck. I’d rather have donuts. At least, give me a cup of strong coffee, no lattes or cappuccinos for me please, to wash the taste of the thing down.
You’d think I’d be able to sleep late on my days off. Oh no. I had to fall in love with a partner who believes that seeing the sunrise is a spiritual experience. There’s only one way I like to see the sunrise. It’s when I’ve been up all night and I’m getting ready for sleep. When I have to get up and see the sun sticking his head out over the horizon, I just want to kick that big orange smiley face of a guy on the backside and go back to bed.
Someone once said that opposites attract. That poor smuck was probably a night guy living with a daybee. But that kind of relationship opens up one heck of a can of worms. I know. That “can of worms” phrase is a bit of a cliché’. But I’m trying to stick to my metaphor and not gonna get it mixed up with something that ain’t quite as appropriate. Besides I’m taking a stand here and it’s way too early in the morning to try to come up with something really smart. So just live with it. Remember the fellow that said that if life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. That ain’t quite true for a nightbee. Night people who hook up with day folk, and most of the time that’s what happens, end up making worm soup. So could you just pass the crackers?
Over the years, I’ve fought with myself trying to make my round peg of a body rhythm fit into the square hole of a sunrise to sunset kind of world and be like everybody else. From high school on, I’ve been constantly reminded that I am keeping people awake with my late night activities. All I wanted to do was watch Tom Snyder or Charlie Rose or that hokey science fiction movie I must’ve seen a hundred times and didn’t like in the first place. It’s somehow become a classic and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because there’s some like me up at that time of night and that’s all there is to watch. Like the Boss said, “Fifty-seven channels and nothing on.” Society calls us insomniacs. We’re just the nightbees who can’t quite adjust.
So I’ve decided to take a stand. I’m starting a revolution. But, before I do that, there’s just one thing I need to do. I have to get ready for the sunrise and then go to bed.