Have you ever wondered what a baby thinks as he’s looking up at you with those baby blue eyes? Perhaps we can imagine.
It’s all about me. It’s true. The world revolves around me. Ask Mommy. She’ll tell you.
“Isn’t he handsome?” Mommy says. I am in my crib. Her face is above me. She smiles her large smile. I love her smile. It makes me feel warm inside. I giggle.
“He’s not so hot,” Brother looks through the bars of my crib. He has big eyes. Big ears. A big nose. His big mouth smirks at me. I look at him. I frown.
“You be nice,” Mommy says.
Yeah, Big Nose, you listen to Mommy.
“I am nice,” Big Nose says.
I stick out my tongue. I spit. Pooh on you.
“Now, now,” Mommy says to me, “ignore your brother. He doesn’t have a clue. It’s great to have a little brother like you. You’re just darling, you know that? Yessir, goo goo ga ga.”
I do know that. I’m back looking at Mommy. She has the most beautiful face in the world. Cut it out, Mommy. You’re tickling me. Please, you’re tickling me. Mommy stops the tickling. She pulls the blanket over my shiny new body.
“Look at him,” Mommy says to Big Nose. “Isn’t he wonderful? And that smile. Who couldn’t love a smile like that.”
See, I told you. The world does revolve around me. And I’m wonderful too.
“What’s so wonderful about the little turd?”
I frown. Mommy, he called me a bad word. Well, he’ll be sorry. I’ll fix him. I’ll fix him good.
“Don’t talk like that. Just look at those … toes.”
“Pee eww,” Big Nose says,
They turn their faces away.
Sorry, Mommy. That was meant for him.
“The little turd just pooped a big turd. Guess his turds are wonderful too.”
They both face me again. Mommy reaches down to unpin my diaper.
“Like your poop don’t stink. I’m here to tell you that was mild compared to yours.”
I knew it. Even when I poop, I’m wonderful. Why would she change my diaper if I wasn’t? I smile at her. Then I giggle.
She smiles back at me. “You’re absolutely adorable, you know that?”
I do know.