Uncle Bardie’s World Famous School of Celebritology

BE FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS

Do you have an inner Snooki trying to get out? Do you think that your inner Kim Kardashian hasn’t had a chance to shine? Do you think that the world is ready for another Paris Hilton and that Paris is you? Is your Justin Bieber wanting to come out and make a fool of himself? Well, guess what?

Uncle Bardie has News for you. He has decided to bring back his School of Celebritology. Over the years, there have been so many graduates, who have become world class celebrities, Uncle Bardie can’t name them. If he left one out, that person might feel slighted. Just take Uncle Bardie’s word for it. There have been many.

QUALIFICATIONS

Do you need to be talented? Absolutely not. In fact, talent could very well be your worst enemy to becoming a successful celebrity. Do you need to be rich? No, you do not. You could very well have learned all the wrong things if you grew up rich. Only one rich person has become successful as a celebrity and that’s Paris Hilton. And she had to earn her celebrity status the same way as all celebrities do. She had that moment in the sun. That fifteen minutes of fame.

So what qualifications do you need to attend Uncle Bardie’s World Famous School of Celebritology. None really. In fact, any qualification you might have could very well be a detriment.

WHAT YOU GET

All you need is $50 grand to attend. Then a degree from Uncle Bardie’s World Famous School of Celebritology is yours. With that degree comes with a Money Back Guarantee. You will get your Fifteen Minutes of Fame or you will get your money back. What you do with that fame is up to you. We can’t promise you more than fifteen minutes. But most of our alumni have taken their Fifteen Minutes and run with it. Only you can make it happen. But You Can Make It Happen.

COURSES

Here are some of the Courses you will take.

Paparazzi 101. Taught by Mister Paparazzi himself.

How Not To Be Invisible 101. Taught by The Show Offy Crowd

How to Make the Right Connections. Taught by Shirley Congeniality.

What To Wear And When To Wear It. Taught by P. J. Fashion.

How To Be The Center of Attention. (How Not To Be Invisible 201). Taught by Mister Ostentatious.

How To Appear Rich, No Matter How Poor You Are. Taught by More Money Than God

Interview 101: How to be interviewed and say absolutely nothing. Taught by the Interview Meister.

How To Comb Your Hair In Public. Taught by Mister Comb.

How To Get “It”. Taught by It.

As you progress through these courses, you will get opportunities to meet the famous and the near famous.

Uncle Bardie’s School of Celebritology School Song

Plus you could be one of those chosen to join Uncle Bardie’s School of Celebritology Chorale. Then you will get to sing our School Song at all kinds of events and award ceremonies.

Chorus:

Join us at Uncle Bardie’s

School of Celebritology

Soon you will have a Master

Degree in Super Star-ology

1.You won’t have to be talented

You don’t have to be good

You can be trailer trash

Or an old chunk of wood

2.Anything is possible

If you think you can

Just look at Forrest Gump

And the walk that he ran

3.You don’t have to have brains

The less you have the better

Just look at the Scarecrow

He never learned his letters

4.You will go anywhere

And stand out in that crowd

Your fans will ooh and ahh

You will be the Big Wow.

So give us a call at Uncle Bardie’s School of Celebritology. The first one hundred to call will get a tote bag with the faces of Kim and Snooki and Paris right on it.

21 thoughts on “Uncle Bardie’s World Famous School of Celebritology

  1. Wowsers. What an opportunity! I live to be classed with Snooki. I can just see the headline now: Snooki and Mother Hen in YouTube controversy…film at eleven. My fifteen minutes would be just, like, so awesome.

  2. Ummm….you forgot the phone number. Can you please send it to me immediately?? I am very anxious to take advantage of this opportunity. I’m pretty sure I have all the qualifications.

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