My mind is a town cryer
Shouting out,
“Hear ye. Hear ye.
There’s trouble coming down.”

Now Job,
That man had troubles.
And I have worries too.
The sky is falling.

So what.
Clouds are soft bundles of rain,
And with each rain,
A sky does fall.

And yet,
The sun and the moon return.

The Many Interpretations of a Box of Chocolates

Forest Gump: “Like my mama said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates.'”

Sigmund Freud: “Forest, you have a mother fixation, do you knot?”

American: “Bet you can’t eat just one.”

George W. Bush: “That’s some shock and awe you’ve got in that box of chocolates, Forrest.”

Julia Child: “Let’s souffle those chocolates. It’s the French way, you know.”

Tim Burton: “I’ll use Johnny Depp as one of those chocolates.”

FDR: “We have nothing to fear from chocolates but fear itself.”

Lincoln: “Four score and seven years ago our forefathers brought forth a new box of chocolates and they were of the chocolates, by the chocolates and for the chocolates.”

The Beatles: “All you need is chocolates, chocolates are all you need.”

Hamlet: “To eat chocolates or not to eat chocolates. That is the question.”

Juliet: “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art my chocolates, dear Romeo.”

Richard III: “It is the chocolate of our discontent.”

Hemingway: “The Old Man and the Box of Chocolates”.

Dickens: “It was the best of chocolates. It was the worst of chocolates.”

Bulwer-Lytton: “It was a dark and stormy box of chocolates.”

Field of Dreams: “Get the chocolates and they will come.”

Business: You buy the chocolates, You sell the chocolates.

Economics: The supply and the demand of chocolates.

The Bible: In the beginning, there were chocolates.

Ingmar Bergman: “Yes, but what is death?”

Old friends fit like comfortable shoes

Searching for my old school buddy, Wayne, I moved through the ballroom and the New Year’s Eve party crowd. I hadn’t seen him in twenty years, not since high school graduation.

Then three weeks ago he’d called me out of the blue. Said over the phone that he’d like to see me, had something to tell me, and he’d be here at this party tonight. He’d leave a ticket for me at the front door if I’d come.

I told him I’d be here and hung up. Over the days that followed, I debated. Did I want to see him again? After all, I ‘ve changed a lot since I was no longer that seventeen-year-old kid he’d hung with. We’d both been on the football team. I was a quarterback and he my receiver, and we’d done everything together. Chased the cheerleaders. Cruised in the bright red Mustang we’d fixed up. Fought in the same fights, always standing up for each other. Gone to the best parties, seeing who could out chug-a-lug the other. We were the Boomer Brothers, the toughest dudes around. Everybody said so.

Then high school was over and Wayne left town. I never found out why. I only knew that he was the restless sort, always looking for a change. The last I heard he’d gone off and joined the Army.

Finally New Year’s Eve morning, I decided I’d come to the party tonight. I made my way through the crowd, checking out the features in each face, trying to figure out if it was really him. I looked across the room and saw someone who could be Wayne. I hesitated, then headed towards the guy. A few feet away I realized that it wasn’t him.

He isn’t here. Why don’t I just leave? Though I wanted to see him, I wasn’t sure how he’d take me these days. But, over the phone, he’d sounded like he really wanted to see me. I decided to keep looking. I guess I’ll find out real soon. If he’s here, that is. I’ve looked everywhere. Where could he be?

I started moving through the sea of faces again, glancing at each one, giving each a quick once-over. Still no Wayne. I looked at my watch. It was almost midnight.

Then, a foot or so away, I saw a face, his face. I would recognize those intense, dark blue eyes anywhere. They were his eyes alright. But that couldn’t be Wayne.

I took another look at his face as I got closer to him. It was definitely my old buddy. But what had happened?

Over the phone, I hadn’t recognized his voice at first. It had changed that much. And now I understood why. But how could I ever have guessed that he had gone and done what I had done?

I ran up to him and hugged him.

“Wayne, you’re a woman too,” I said, releasing him from my hug and acknowledging our sex change operations.

“My God, John, these shoes are killing me,” he said. “When I made the change, I never realized how hard it was going to be to get decent shoes.”