Theme Song for an Itchy Back

A lyric to be sung to the tune of “The Impossible Dream”.

To scratch the impossible itch
To fight that terrible bad twitch
To bear the unbearable thing
To reach for a really hard stretch

To make the unstretchable goal
To feel the relief of the touch
To try when my arms are too short
To reach that unreachable hutch

This is my quest
To go for the spot
No matter how hopeless
No matter the knot

To make the good stretch
Without reason or rhyme
To be willing to make the tear
Of a muscular kind

And I know if I give it the try
To that hard to reach spot
To my back relief will appear
When the bad itch is not

And my body will thank me for this
That one arm, short and almost unhitched
Did move with that one heck of a try
To reach the unbearable itch

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Near 500 words: Light your candle, my friends

a lyric for these times

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. The Christophers.

These are dark dark times
Winter is coming on
The night is closing in
The moon has up and gone

So light your candle, my friends
If you’re longing for the cool cool waters of love
Light your candle, my friends

Anger is all the rage
Wild fires from town to town
And soon it’s ’bout to come
Our cities burning down

So light your candle, my friends
If you’re longing for the cool cool waters of love
Light your candle, my friends

The sky is bloody red
Passions running deep
A storm is on the rise
Life is on the cheap

So light your candle, my friends
If you’re longing for the cool cool waters of love
Light your candle, my friends

The devil’s on the move
His demons having fun
Packing loaded guns
At the setting of the sun

So light your candle, my friends
If you’re longing for the cool cool waters of love
Light your candle, my friends

Deliver Us

Hearing that Tom Petty was another victim of the opioid epidemic the country is struggling with inspired this lyric.

Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Deliver us
Deliver our children now

Doctor Death, he’s comin’ to town
Doctor Death, he’s walkin’ around
Doctor Death, can you hear his sound
Doctor Death, he’s taking us down

Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Deliver us
Deliver our children now

Doctor Death, he takes the prize
Doctor Death, he’s in disguise
Doctor Death, he’s talkin’ jive
Doctor Death, he’s telling lies

Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Deliver us
Deliver our children now

Doctor Death, he’s out for thrills
Doctor Death, he’s doing deals
Doctor Death, he’s giving out pills
Doctor Death, don’t we know they kill

Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Oh, sweet Jesus
Deliver us
Deliver our children now

Laundrin’ Star

It’s been a bit of a while since I have posted one of my lyrics. So, what the hey. “Paint Your Wagon” is a fav of mine. So, what the hey. I was thinking it needed a parody of its own. Instead of two prospectors showing up in a gold mining town, “Wash Your Wagon” could have two guys who want to start laundromats in the town. They’re competing for business. So here’s the song, “Laundrin’ Star”. (See the lyric below Lee Marvin.)

To be sung to the tune of Wandrin’ Star from “Paint Your Wagon”.

I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star
Soap is made for washing, scrubbing is made to clean
I’ve never seen a sight that didn’t look better when it’s keen
I was born under a laundrin’ star

Mud can make you dirty, and the sun can bake you dry
Soap can burn your eyes, but only dirty makes you cry
Clothes are made for washing, for dreams of getting clean
Which with any luck you’ll get to bathe again
I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star

Do I know where hell is, hell is in the mud
Heaven’s goodbye to dirt, it’s time for a scrub
I was born under a laundrin’ star
A laundrin’ laundrin’ star

Mud can make you dirty and the sun can bake you dry
Soap can burn your eyes, but only dirty make you cry
Clothes are made for washing, for dreams of getting clean
Which with any luck you’ll get to bathe again
I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star

When I get to heaven, throw me in a tub
Or I’ll begin to roam, and soon you’ll know I’ll be in the mud
I was born under a laundrin’ star
A laundrin’ star

 

Uncle Bardie’s Spotlight Creator: Gordon Lightfoot

Once a week on Friday, Uncle Bardie celebrates the creativity in others by shining a Spotlight on a movie, a song or a creator. This week’s Spotlight Creator is Gordon Lightfoot:

It was late 1969 and I was at the Air Force Base Exchange. I found myself flipping through the records when I chanced upon an album called “Sunday Concert”. In those days, I had gotten into the habit of buying albums based on the cover art. The cover on the album was simple. It was a side view of Gordon Lightfoot on stage. It was a live album.

I liked the cover but I wasn’t sure who this Gordon Lightfoot was. Seems the name had come up before. Didn’t he write a Peter, Paul and Mary tune, “Early Morning Rain”? I checked out the songs. They had interesting titles and it looked like this Lightfoot guy was a folk singer.

This was in the days before Pandora and Spotify. If no one you knew had heard an artist, you took your chances. So I took my chances. Man, am I glad. I loved this Lightfoot and his “Sunday Concert”. Every song was a gem. Little did I realize that this was the last album he was to do for United Artist. His next album, “Sit Down, Young Stranger”, was on the Reprise label and it was a gem too. Had a big hit on it. “If you could read my mind”.

The Guess Who performing “Lightfoot”.

Gordon Lightfoot was something. He wrote great songs. He had a great voice. And he looked like what you would expect a troubadour to look. Over the years, I bought album after album of his as they were released. Twice I saw him in concert. And he’s still out there on the road, doing what a troubadour does.

In his honor, I wrote this lyric:

The ballading man
Spanish guitars play a South-of-the-Border song
On the stage the man sings out loud and clear
Of a land made great by sweat and by blood,
A rose in the wilderness of every man’s fear.

The songs the ways of the past almost forgotten:
Of love’s wisdom, of life, glory and death,
Of battles raging and courageous men,
Conquistadors, el dorado tales of fabulous wealth.

Children, gather ’round and hear a ballading man
Warm as a winter fire by a family hearth
Wild as mountain flowers in early spring,
A natural theology of every man’s worth.

Gordon Lightfoot, “I used to be a country singer”, written by Steve McEown.

And here is one of the my favorites. It’s “Don Quixote”, the title song from his second album on Reprise:

In this day and age, we need more Don Quixotes like this one.