Ads I would love to see on TV

Ad #1. Jeff is sitting in his kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. He picks up the bowl and walks to the front door. Opens the front door, looks out. The birds are singing. The grass is green. The cocker spaniel lies on the front porch, dreaming his doggie dream. Jeff looks at his brand new car. It is a beautiful work of art. Then he sees his neighbor get in his car. The driver’s door falls off his neighbor’s Chevy. Jeff smiles, then calls out, “Hey, Bart. Doors don’t fall off my new Puchie.”

Ad #2. “Need a new car. It’s on your bucket list. Why not come on down and we can give you a killer of a deal on a hearse? We have them in seven gorgeous colors: red, yellow, blue, orange, pink, turquoise, and, of course, our most popular color, your basic black tie. If you want to go in style, this is the way to go.”

Ad #3. “Come on over to Brady’s Super Sports Store to get all your football supplies. Down here at Brady’s, we really know how to deflate a football.”

Ad#4. “Are you the kind of person who is always late for a date? We have the perfect organization for you. All our members are late for their dates. So join us at PU. That’s Procrastinators Unanimous. You’re never going to be too late for the party ever again.”

micropoem for the day: billboards

One night I was driving home recently along a busy highway. There was billboard after billboard. Now I am not opposed to billboards. I saw “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”. I am the first to admit that it is a great way to get across your message. Many’s the time that I’ve turned around and went back to get the phone number off of a billboard. I am particular fond of lawyers’ billboards. Maybe one of them will get me 250K for an accident I am about to have. You just never know. But there does come a point when enough is enough. Don’t you think?

billboard advertisements
along the roadway hiding
the real thing: nature