The Art Scene

In the Posh Gallery, New York City, a man in his mid-thirties studied a piece on the wall. One of the Wall Street nouveau-riche, he looked to diversify his portfolio into art. The gallery owner approached and stood beside him.

“A very good piece, don’t you think?” the owner commented. “A. Non-Y-Mous is one of our most popular artists.”

“Just what is it?” Nouveau-riche shared a confused look with Mr. Gallery.

“Oh, it is his latest.”

“But what is that thing. I mean, do you call it a thingamajig.”

“Actually it’s called ‘A Whatchamacallit’.” Gallery was proud to represent one of the up-and-comers of the current art scene. “It’s only one million dollars.”

“You mean you actually expect someone to pay a million bucks for that?”

“Oh, it was one hundred grand three days ago. The artist’s name is rising that fast. Much faster than Andy Warhol in his prime.”

The tailored suit was impressed but not impressed enough to bite the offer handed him. “Well, it looks like a piece of shit to me.”

“No, sir. ‘Piece of Shit’ was A.Non-Y-Mous’ previous work. It sold for two million at auction.”

Nouveau shook his head. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And I thought Wall Street was one big scam.”

Gallery ignored the scam comment.”I can almost guarantee it will be up to four million by the end of the year.”

The Wall Streeter frowned. “This-this whatchamacallit looks like something I saw down the street.”

“That is why it is such an important work. It captures the essence of contemporary society. It has such panache. Yet it doesn’t force itself upon you with its dash of élan. Don’t you think?”

“I’m not so sure. When I think of art, I think Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Picasso.”

The owner waved away the thought. “Oh, sir, they are so passé. So démodé. So vieux jeu. No, this artist is so, how shall we say it. So current. One of the advanced cohort of a coming revolution in art.”

“You say one million?” The man was beginning to bite the bait.

“Yes, sir. And I can assure you the piece will impress your colleagues. They will see that you are an up-and-coming collector. You are participating in something unique.”

“I am not so sure my wife will like it. Her snooty Ivy League friends are hard to impress.”

Gallery patiently instructed, “Oh, they will be very impressed. They will see you for the man of taste you are. And the benefit of this piece? It will fit in with any décor. Just look at the colors.”

“You think so?” Mr. Potential Customer took a deep breath. “I would like to get in with that Fifth Avenue crowd she travels with.”

“Then this is just the thing. It is small enough to fit into the elevator of your apartment building but large enough to impress.”

The Wall Streeter decided. “Well, I suppose if one must, one must. I will take it. Can you have it delivered?”

“Yes, sir. Would tomorrow afternoon be good?”

“It will.” The buyer paid for the piece. “It’s for my wife’s birthday, you know.”

“She is indeed a fortunate woman to have such a discriminating husband.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

“Believe me, she will love the piece. The wives always do.”

“I hope you are right.”

The Wall Streeter walked out of the gallery, shaking his head and muttering, “Still looks like a piece of shit to me.”

The owner uncrossed his fingers and said under his breath, “P. T. was right. There is one born every minute.” Then he started to hum, “Another one bites the dust.”

Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick: Kind and Generous

It’s Thursday again. You know what that means. Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick. Uncle Bardiie gives a double thumbs up to this week’s selection: “Kind and Generous” by Natalie Merchant.

It’s Thanksgiving. And this is to thank all who do wonderful things for me and others. Have a happy Thanksgiving out there, y’all.

Some Pleasures

I just want to say how thankful I am for all you who read my posts. I am so grateful for you guys. Thank you.

The perfect meal, thanksgiving turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, buttered rolls, pecan pie and iced tea.

Christmas lights twinkling from houses along a street.

Nat King Cole’s version of “The Christmas Song”

A spring morning on my back porch with the cats and watching the birds in the trees.

Joshua Bell playing the violin.

Ravel’s “Une Barque Sur l’Ocean”

Renoir’s “Luncheon of the Boating Party”

“Let Evening Come”, a poem by Jane Kenyon

Creating a scene whereby two characters, a man and a woman, walk out on the stage of a street and admire the stars, or any number of other scenes that I am amazed that I wrote.

The feet of a flamenco dancer in rhythm with the guitarista.

Listening to Frank Sinatra at three a. m.

An Edward Hopper painting of a diner at the loneliest time of night

John Lennon’s “Norwegian Wood” words and music dancing across the room to my ears, two perfect partners.

Good food and drink in a room full of friends celebrating

A late night drive

A Henry Moore sculpture, lines that rise and fall to the beat of eternity

Kathe Kohlwitz’s “Mourning Parents”

Alan Rickman delivering his lines

Bobbie Kennedy speaking against injustice

Jerry Seinfeld, Kramer, Elaine Benis and George Costanza

Three cats sleeping in my living room.

Season three of “Northern Exposure”

A laugh that begins in my toes and moves all the way up my body and out my mouth in one gigantic ha.

The first time I read a novel or a story or a poem where the writer blows the top of my head off with his prose and story, a novel like “The River Runs Through It”, “The Old Capital” or “The Old Man and the Sea” or the Alice Munro story “Walker Brothers Cowboy” or Tillie Olsen’s “I Stand Here ironing”.

Delivering humor, a joke or a line or a phrase or word, that emits laughter from another person.

Reading “A Tell Tale Heart” by Edgar Alan Poe at midnight

An Alfred Hitchcock movie

Following my curiosity and learning something new.

Finishing a blog or a story or a novel or a poem I am very proud of.

The movie “Cinema Paradiso”

A friend’s thank you

Finding a great gift for a loved one or a friend, then giving it to them and finding out that they love it.

Finding a new musician that I love

Writing the perfect sentence

My job in a library

Donatello’s “Mary Magdalen”

Praise from a reader

Creating pieces late at night

Seeing a new movie and finding out that good movies are still made

The support of friends and loved ones.

All these I am thankful for and more. I am especially thankful for those who love me and care about me. Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you and to your families and loved ones.