Drew Carey’s in Cleveland

A pickin’ and a grinnin’ tribute to an  Oldie but Goodie

Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
With a big mug of beer.
He’s on t.v.
Coming in clear.

With a smile on his face
At the Drew Carey place
Drew’s telling his jokes
For all kind of folks.
He’s getting his yucks
With his “Oh, aw shucks.”
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

Mimi’s on the prowl
With her clownish scowl
At Winfred-Lauder.
Drew takes a powder
Away from his cube
To avoid their feud.
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

With Oswald and Lewis
And Kate, they’re the truest
Of friends in a bar
Where the keg is a star
And guzzling it down
Is the Talk of the Town.
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

Then Mimi bursts in
To the bar with a grin
And throws a big pie
Letting it fly
To splatter Drew’s face
In his drinking place.
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

Now Kate really pissed.
She puts up her fists.
“You’re ’bout to go down,
You sad little clown,”
Kate says with a frown.
Beats Mimi to the ground.
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

Now Mimi got wise
After that night’s demise.
She left Drew alone
Till Kate went and gone.
Then Mimi is back
Gives Drew such a whack.
Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
Drinking his beer.

Drew Carey’s in Cleveland
With a big mug of beer.
He’s on t.v.
Coming in clear.

A “guy walks into a bar” story

Harry sits on the stool at the end of the bar.

“So he comes into the bar,” the bartender offers.

“Yeah?” Harry says.

“He comes into the bar with that long hair reaching down to his butt. Tells me a big lion story.”

“Don’t you mean a big fish story?” Harry asks, then finishes his beer. He motions for another bottle.

“I would if it was a big fish he killed. But he says it was a lion. This lion, the size of Jericho’s wall, springs out of a nearby bush as he’s on his way to that Delilah’s house.” The bartender takes a MIchelob out of the refrigerator, pops the cap and passes it over to Harry.

“Yeah, I’ve heard about her. She’ll screw anybody in pants.” Harry takes a swig of the beer.

“Or kilts. Anyway this lion heads straight toward him. Sammy grabs the lion by the head and throws it on the ground. Then twists the cat’s head until it is d-e-a-d.”

Harry and the bartender laugh.

In walks Sammy with a huge lion’s head. He throws the head on the bar and smiles. “I’ll take a brewsky.”

The bartender pours Sammy a large beer and sets it on the bar. Sammy picks it up and throws his head back and chug-a-lugs the beer down. He slams the mug onto the bar.

“What’ll you give me for this here kitty’s head? Make me a good offer ‘cause Delilah wants an expensive engagement ring.”

The bartender goes and opens up his safe. He pulls out a big wad of bills and gives them to Sammy. The big galoot takes the bills and counts them and slides the head over to the bartender.

On his way out of the bar, Sammy shakes his head and says, “Geez, that Delilah has become so…so Kardashian.”