“Hamlet”: Ten Rules for a Ghost

Thus twice before and jump at this dead hour. Hamlet Act 1 Scene 1.

For Hamlet’s plot till now, see Hamlet So Far.

–from Roberts Rules for Ghostlie Behaviour
1.You must appear after midnight.

2. You have to be gone by dawn. So don’t be real talkative. The less said the better.

3. Moaning is required. The better the moan the scarier the ghost.

4. If the prop department has them available, wear some chains.

5. Shake the chains excessively.

6. Your Ghost ‘Stume must cover you completely. No letting the victim peek under the sheet. They might see that there is nothing underneath.

7. Take some acting lessons. The more convincing you are the better.

8. The trick with being big and filling an entire room is to make sure your plug is secure. Otherwise the hot air will escape. Can’t have that. Then you’ll just fizzle.

9. Remember you are not a friendly ghost. That phrase is a cancellation in terms. We don’t know what Casper The Friendly Ghost was but he was not a Ghost.

10. You have to scare the bejesus out of everybody. If you do not, you have to go back to Ghost Skool. (Marley had to repeat three times before he got things right.)