Near 500 words: Fairy Tale U

Now that Little Bo Peep has found her sheep and Humpty Dumpty has been put back together again, Mother Goose is devoting her time to a new project. Education. She is opening a school of higher leaning for those who wish to be fairy-tale endowed. Here’s some of the outstanding courses she’ll be offering at Fairy Tale U.

1.Prince Charming 101. Prince Rupert teaches the gentlemanly ways of wooing yon fair maiden. Without looking at her shoes.
2.You-tube phenomenon Cinderella will be giving her world-famous Housecleaning Techniques.
3.You won’t need a Fairy Godmother in the clothes department after you take Fashion Consciousness by The One-and-only Fairy Godmother. “It’s all in the shoes.”
4.Baking with Hansel & Gretel and their um-um good recipes.
5.Repunzel lets her hair down with Hair-styling 101.
6.Big Bad’s Huff-and-Puff Way to Real Estate Success.
7.For those in the weight-consciousness mode, the “Just Right” Diet by Goldilocks and the Three Bears is perfect.
8.Child Care by Rumpelstiltskin
9.Relationship Secrets by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
10. Flying Etiquette with the Wicked Witch of the West introduces students to  proper broom-riding techniques. Come and hear her say, “Eat your heart out, Harry Potter.”
11.Jack’s Course on the Bean Stalk Methodology of Survival.
12. After rescuing Grandma, Little Red Riding Hood joins the University with her Tips on Elder Care.
13.Beauty’s Taming your Inner Beast shouldn’t be missed.
14.Puss-in-Boots will share his secrets on How To Be Successful In Business Without Really Trying.
15.And for the meteorlogical-minded, Dorothy and Toto will be here for Storm Chasing Procedures.

haiku for the day: dishes

Ever looked over and see a dish and be inspired? I don’t mean to wash it. The inspiration is of the dish just like it is.  Sitting there all alone on the counter or the table, minding its own business. Not really.

Since when did a dish ever mind its own business? After all, it was the dish that ran away with the spoon. They eloped because the dish had gotten the spoon pregnant. Bet you didn’t know that. Because the dish and the spoon were an afterthought. Mother Goose really didn’t care about the dish and the spoon. She just needed another line to fit in her ditty. Boy, that Mother Goose sure could be cruel.

On top of that, she’s talking drugs. That’s what hey diddle diddle was. A seventeenth century version of LSD. See what you’re exposing your kids to. Next thing you’ll be telling them about twinkle twinkle little star. Now that’s a horse of a different color. Preferably purple.

an unwashed saucer
food splattered on white canvas
an abstract painting