Politics in America 36: First a word from our sponsor…Well, not really 

Stever the Cleaver was an assassin. That’s what he did. That’s what he was. But lately he had a lot of free time. It’s never a good idea for an assassin to have a lot of free time. He might just go off half cocked. Or even worse, full cocked.

First he tried out a new revolver. Shot himself in the foot. Then he went and did his knife-throwing thing. He almost stabbed himself in the other foot. He did hit his big toe and that hurt. ‘Bout the time Stever was about to give up hope, he got a call. From Al Fresco of all people.

Al Fresco had an idea. He said into the phone, “Stever, I got a job for you.”

“A job? Anything for a job,” Stever said to himself, then spoke into the phone, “How much does it pay?”

“It’s minimum wage,” Al let the Cleaver know.

“What do you mean? Minimum wage? Have you read my resume’?”

“Of course, I know your resume’. But this is a government contract.”

Stever thought about it for a few minutes, then said, “If it’s a government contract, then okay.” The Cleaver had been wanting to get in at the government trough for years. Here was his chance.

Then Al Fresco let the cat out of the bag. It was the President’s numbers. They were down big time all because of them darn boots. Something had to be done. It was the third year in The Great Man’s first term. “I want you to try to take out Bessie Mae Hogg.”

“What?” You could have heard Stever’s “what” all the way to France. Of course, it did help that Stever was in his hideout in Paris.

“Calm down,” Al said. “You’re just going to fake it. We’ll blame it on the Mayor from Snort Holler. He’s been making noises lately.”

“In that case, I’m in.” Stever chuckled at the mischief he was about to create. “I’ll do this one for free.”

“You good hearted s.o.b.,” Al said.

“When’s the job?” Stever wanted to know.

“Friday,” Al Fresco said.

“Friday the thirteenth?”

“That’s right.”

Just his luck. Friday the thirteenth. It wasn’t that Stever was superstitious. It was that he was superstitious. Things had not been going well for him lately. Now this. If Stever had not been so darned bored, he wouldn’t have agreed to the proposition.

Next Week The Chapter You’ve Been Waiting For