Mr. Squirrel is out and about

My, my, what a nice sunny day. I would like to repeat that. What a nice sunny day. Wish all days were this sunny and nice. Of course, rainy days are nice too. It’s those cold, cold, and I’m talking cold here, cold days of winter that aren’t so nice. That’s why we save up our nuts and other stuff and put them away for winter. So we don’t have to go outside. But a day like this. It’s really nice. Mrs. Squirrel and I got up early this morning. We looked out at the world in all its glory and we said, “It’s going to be a nice day.” And here it is. Nice.

Cows and bulls

Cows. Cattle. What’s that all about? They come in for their feeding, then they go back out to the pasture. That’s a cow for you. Pretty soon they’re hanging out with a bull. What happens next ain’t a lot of bull.

Guess that’s why the bulls in the rodeo and the bullring are mad. They’re lifelong bachelors. They don’t get to hang out a lot with cows. It’s a lonely life for a bull who has to fight a matador and chase around with a cowboy on his back. Just one date is all the fellow asks. Just one date. He’ll be a happy fellow. At least, for a day or so. And that is all any bull can ask.

Jungle Etiquette

Buffalo, feeling Tiger teeth in his back, says to Tiger, “What are you doing?”

Tiger says to Buffalo, “I am about to have lunch.”

“Lunch?” Buffalo says to Tiger.

“Yes, lunch,” Tiger says to Buffalo.

“Not on my dime you’re not,” Buffalo says to Tiger.

“How you going to stop me?” Tiger says to Buffalo.

Buffalo says to Tiger, “You keep this up and you’re about to find out.”

Tiger says to Buffalo, “Yeah, right.”

All of a sudden the buffalo rises from his kneeling position, the tiger lifted in the air.

Tiger says to Buffalo, “Hold on now.”

Buffalo says to Tiger, “Let go.”

Tiger says to Buffalo, “No way.”

Buffalo snorts, then takes off.

“What are you doing?” Tiger says to Buffalo.

“Teaching you some manners,” Buffalo says to Tiger. Buffalo slams Tiger against a tree.

“Owww,” Tiger says to no one in particular. He lets go of Buffalo and drops to the ground.

Buffalo looks down at Tiger. “Next time ask.” Buffalo turns and charges away, knowing that he had better get the hell out of there. Otherwise he won’t be able to charge another day.

The Cat Who Runs Things (At My House)

You don’t have a cat. Lucky you. This is what you have to put up with if you do.

“What are you doing with that towel?” I ask.

Little Bear is the cat who lives at our house. She’s sitting on a white towel. “Who do you think you are? Get out of my face,” L B says to me. She will be upset if I say she’s my cat. That’s nonsense as far as she is concerned. “Nobody owns me,” she says, “and don’t you forget it.” Ssssh, don’t tell her I said this. She’s my cat whether she likes it or not.

“Look we need to talk,” I say to L B.

“Talk, talk, talk, that’s all you do.”

“That towel is mine.”

“No big deal. Let’s just say that I’m borrowing it for a while.”

“It was nice and clean. Now you made it dirty.”

“Yes. What of it.” That is not a question. It’s a challenge. Then she gives me that face. You cat people know what face I’m talking about. That face that says she’s smarter than me and I had better watch out.

I don’t want to get in any deeper. I’ve been there before and let’s just say it isn’t pleasant. I leave her be, knowing I had better mind my p’s-and-q’s, or I will be in trouble.

Non-cat owners, see what I mean. Uh-oh, I got to go. Here she comes and she’ll be reading this. She’s a speed reader too.

The Spider

Henry noticed the spider’s web on his way to the barn. Then he noticed the spider. It wasn’t poisonous. At least, Henry didn’t think so. He continued on his way to the barn. On his trek back to the house, he again noticed the spider and her web. For some reason, he stopped and watched the spider spinning her web. The spider danced across space, knitting her web. Just maybe he could compose a piece based on the spider’s dance. He brought out his composition pad from his study and doodled musical note after musical note. Soon he had pages of the notes. He went inside and sat down at his piano. His fingers struck the notes on his pad. Outside the spider listened intently as she continued her dance to the music.