There was a time when the only mail was snail mail. If you wanted to listen to music, you had to have a turntable. No .mp3s or .wavs. Apples were things you ate. If you said google, people thought you were talking about goggles you wear on your face. There was definitely no way you could surf a net. You could fish with one but no surfing. And everybody thought that a tablet was the thing Moses brought down from Mount Sinai with the Big Ten on it.
It’s amazing the technological advances we’ve seen in the last fifty years. In Uncle Bardie’s lifetime, I have seen a man land on the moon. I have seen the personal computer blossom. I have seen the internet spring from nothing and give the consumer the shopping experience of a lifetime. I have seen the smart phone, the iPod and the iPhone.
So it is with some excitement Uncle Bardie reports on some wonderful new gadgets about to be revealed to the public. I think you will agree these gadgets will transform our lives.
1.iWipes for the pooper in all of us. Its motto: “A little dab’ll do you.
2.And to compliment this accessory the iFlush for those of us who don’t have the time to flush our waste down the pipes.
3.iSmile for those days you don’t want to turn that frown upside-down.
4.iGesundheit: You never have to worry about getting a gesundheit no matter where you are. You could be alone in Antartica and you will get a gesundheit.
5.And its companion, the iSneeze. Just in case you need a gesundheit to pep up your day. Maybe you feel like you’ve earned a gesundheit and nobody seems to care.
6.iLawn will mow itself.
7.iHouse is that house you will never have to clean again. In fact, it may be cleaning you if you aren’t careful. That is an extra little feature the designers feel is the icing on the cake.
8.iFood for the finicky eater or the gourmand.
9.iPet. You can walk him and you don’t have to scoop up his poop. Or if you choose the kitty version, it even sings “Oops there goes another rubber tree plant” each time it eliminates those pesky little vermin. And each of these comes in an assortment of colors.
One little note of caution here: Make sure you purchase the super dooper security package. You don’t want iHackers to spread an iVirus in your iGadgets. Just imagine what that might do to your iPet. It could end up with iRabies and you certainly won’t look attractive with an iFoam around the mouth.