The View

Manny and Hazel are a couple who have been married for 35 years. They are touring Europe for the first time. They are in Berlin and standing at the top in the dome of a government building. Hazel loves the view.

Manny, this is some view.

It ought to be. They spent a fortune on it.

C’mon, Manny, don’t be a spoil sport.

Who? Me? A spoil sport? I’m just pointing out the facts.

Why don’t you just enjoy the view?

We liberate these people from the Nazis. Spend a fortune. It’s cost us I don’t know how many lives. And they don’t pay us back.

Now, Manny, these Germans are nice people.

Under all those nice clothes we’re seeing are people that still owe us money.

Geez. Sometimes, Manny, I don’t know why I do it.

Do what?

Drag you along on these excursions. You’re nothing but a sourpuss. You know that?

Yes, Mrs. Sunshine. You never ever rain on my parade.

When do I rain on your parade? Tell me?

When I go play golf.

You know golf is such a stupid game. Now bridge, that’s a game.

Is not. It don’t take no skills to sit on your butt and play cards. Any doofus could do it.

You try it and see if it takes no skill. You’ll see.

I am not going to play bridge. I don’t care what you say. Oh, look. I can see where the Eiffel Tower.

See. I told you it was a nice view.

At least, we didn’t pay for it.

Manny smiles and takes his wife’s hand.

Long Distance Romance

She’s in Montana
Playing with the cats
Thirteen or more
Just to be exact

I’m in Florida
Watering the plants
Filling the bird bath
Fighting the ants

She left in August
Before the hurricanes
California’s in a drought
Florida had the rain

Now she’s snowed in
Winter’s all the fuss
No time to leave
Montana in the dust

It may be summer
Or even the spring
Could it be Christmas
When I see her again?

The Lovers

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.

“Such a beautiful rainbow,” Melanie said to Walt.

“I made it just for you,” Walt said to Mel.

“You didn’t,” she said. “You can’t make a rainbow.”

“Oh, you think not,” he said, squeezing her hand just a little to show his love. “I spent several years at the rainbow-making school. I was their star pupil.”

“Were not.” She laughed. She liked it when Walt made up stories just for her.

“I was.”

They two stared at the rainbow, thinking beautiful thoughts. Walt thought about a Mel who could walk, Mel thought about a Mel who could walk. And they were very very happy.


You loved me on Monday,
On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
Come the weekend,
You didn’t love me anymore.

I dance with a stranger.
She is not you. She is not you.
The music is crying,
Tears run red, bleeding from her soul.

The river runs dry,
The river a river no more.
The bed beneath,
parched and praying for rain.

My heart cracks
a thirsty earth longing for drink
from the goblet el amor
The days, the nights, oh the nights.

You loved me on Monday,
On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
Come the weekend,
You didn’t love me anymore.