Laundrin’ Star

It’s been a bit of a while since I have posted one of my lyrics. So, what the hey. “Paint Your Wagon” is a fav of mine. So, what the hey. I was thinking it needed a parody of its own. Instead of two prospectors showing up in a gold mining town, “Wash Your Wagon” could have two guys who want to start laundromats in the town. They’re competing for business. So here’s the song, “Laundrin’ Star”. (See the lyric below Lee Marvin.)

To be sung to the tune of Wandrin’ Star from “Paint Your Wagon”.

I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star
Soap is made for washing, scrubbing is made to clean
I’ve never seen a sight that didn’t look better when it’s keen
I was born under a laundrin’ star

Mud can make you dirty, and the sun can bake you dry
Soap can burn your eyes, but only dirty makes you cry
Clothes are made for washing, for dreams of getting clean
Which with any luck you’ll get to bathe again
I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star

Do I know where hell is, hell is in the mud
Heaven’s goodbye to dirt, it’s time for a scrub
I was born under a laundrin’ star
A laundrin’ laundrin’ star

Mud can make you dirty and the sun can bake you dry
Soap can burn your eyes, but only dirty make you cry
Clothes are made for washing, for dreams of getting clean
Which with any luck you’ll get to bathe again
I was born under a laundrin’ star
I was born under a laundrin’ star

When I get to heaven, throw me in a tub
Or I’ll begin to roam, and soon you’ll know I’ll be in the mud
I was born under a laundrin’ star
A laundrin’ star

 

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She’s a mouser

Just another lyric to entertain all you folks at home.
For Princess, Buster, Peaches, Mr. Gray and Little Bear and all cats everywhere.

There’s a kitty in my house
She loves the taste of mouse
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She’s the master of her fate
She’s never one to wait
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She jumps on my lap
And she plays with my cap
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She does what she will
And she sleeps on the sill
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She once fit in the palm of my hand
Her green eyes tried to understand
Why there was no big parade
Or crowds to applaud her on her way

She dreams her kitty dreams
She runs the roofy beams
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

The sun is her friend
You’d think they were kin
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She loves to jump and play
Each and every day
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouse

When she gets to cavort
She’s never out of sorts
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She once fit in the palm of my hand
Her green eyes tried to understand
Why there was no big parade
Or crowds to applaud her on her way

She’s got long sharp teeth
And claws on her feet
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She keeps the moles away
And all the rats at bay
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

If you’re a rat in town
Don’t come around
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

There’s a kitty in my house
She loves the taste of mouse
She’s a mouser, she’s a mouser

She once fit in the palm of my hand
Her green eyes tried to understand
Why there was no big parade
Or crowds to applaud her on her way

She’s my mouser
She’s my mouser
She’s my mouser
Oh, yes, she is

 

C’mon down

A Rappin’zella

If you like to eat, and you like to eat good
C’mon down and get yourself a bite
Of the best darn food in the neighborhood
Open six of the seven both day and night.

A wisp of a smell, the aroma grows
As you drive your car to the way down there
Where the food is great, a delight for the nose.
A darn good odor, it fills the air.

Have a burger and fries, they’re the best
With onions and ‘maters and lettuce too.
So um um good, you’ll puff out your chest.
You’ll snap your fingers and tap your shoe.

Have a steak and have it rare
Right off the grill and on your plate.
It’s made just right, grilled with care.
The best darn steak you ever ate.

If you want your sushi sushitized,
If you want your venison venisonized,
If you want your fish without their eyes,
Come to the place with the blue ribbon prize.

So c’mon down and feed yourself,
All you gals and all you fellows,
‘Cause Sam’s the cook, Ella the chef
Of the diner they call the Sam ‘N’ Ella.

Halloween Brew

Happy All Hallows’ Eve to you and yours.

‘Tis a dark and stormy night

The vampires are out for a bite

And the ghosties on the prowl

Something out there’s smelling foul

While down in Zombie Town

There’s the howl of a devil hound

And deep in Castle Vlad

Frank ‘N’ Stein are in their lab

Mixing up their ghoulish stew

Stirring up that Halloween Brew.

On Transylvania Street

There’s a lot of trick or treat

As the jack ‘o lantern choir

In their Halloween attire

Walk the walking dead dance

Skeletons doing their scary prance.

The headless horseman rides

With his head held at his side

In the Grand All Hallow’s

Eve Parade and Spooktastic Show.

Under a full witching moon

Midnight’ll be here soon

Then at “The Pit and Pendulum”

They’ll gather with their ghastly grins

For the Ushers will be there.

A cask of Amontillado they’ll share.

They’ll spill their tell-tale hearts

Spinning tales of the darker arts

And the time of the Halloween Brew

When they drank F ‘N’ S’s stew.

Another year rolls around

And the dead sleep safe and sound.

Then October shall arrive

When the dead come alive

For another show and tell

Under autumn’s darkest spell

When the goblins take to the air

For the Great Halloween Affair

And more of that Good Stew,

A tall hot mug of Halloween Brew.

Lost in Space

What can I say but here’s another pickin’ and grinner.

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

They were folks lost in space
When they left the old home place
And went out searching for
A new home among the stars.

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger

Past the Van Allen Belt
So fast the ship might melt
Passing Mars and Jupiter
The outer planets a blur

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

Neptune and Pluto flew by
Onward they did fly
Into the deepest space
Leaving the human race

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

They left on their trip
In a tin can of a ship

On board the Robinsons,
Doctor Smith, Major Don
And a B9 robot
For all parts cold and hot

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

On a lovely moony night
Look at the sky to the right
In the distant night
There’ll be a small small light

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

It’ll be the Robinsons
Out there on their own
Out for an evening stroll
To the right of a black hole

Danger, danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

They left on their trip
In a tin can of a ship

They were folks lost in space
When they left the old home place
And went out searching for
A new home among the stars.