Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick: Werewolves of London

It’s Thursday again. You know what that means. Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick. Uncle Bardie gives a double thumbs up to this week’s selection: Warren Zevon and his “Werewolves of London“.

Werewolves don’t get any respect these days. It’s all zombies here, zombies there, zombies everywhere. I’ve had it up to here with zombies. I say bring the werewolves back. They are much more scary, and they have bigger teeth too. And I can’t remember Warren Zevon ever doing a song about zombies. Why would he want to? Zombies are boring. So this Halloween let’s remember Lon Chaney Jr. and bring the werewolves back. We’ll all feel a lot better.

Politics in America 30: Inauguratin’

P F Sneaze, now The Great Man, stepped up to the plate. It was his turn at bat. Would he hit a home run or would he just bunt? This is always the question in the minds of the American people when they inaugurate the New Guy.

The Great Man took the Oath of Office and stepped to the podium. The American people held their breath. They were ready for some wisdom. They seldom got it but they were ready for it.

In his inaugural address to the nation, he said: “I want to be the President of all the Presidents, both foreign and domestic, alienated and non-alienated. And this we will do.” It was the shortest Inauguration Speech in the history of Inauguration Speeches. George Washington would have been proud. Abe Lincoln would have been proud. JFK would have been proud. School children would memorize it for generations. The Big Guy whispered to his auburn-haired wife, “Not bad. Not bad. Wish I had thought of that.”

Then the parades began. For hours, they just kept a-comin’. Till finally everybody had paraded out. Then the Big Guy handed the keys to the castle to the Great Man. Big Guy slipped away into history. The Great Man walked into the News Cycle known as the News Cycle.

You’ve heard the saying “a hot time in the old town”. Well, I am here to tell you that the Do Naughties had one do-naughty time that night. I won’t go into details. Just use your imagination.

After all the fluff and pizzazz of the Inauguration and the Inauguration parties and Inauguration balls, the presidential couple were tired. Their toesies were tired. Their ankles were tired. Their legs were tired. Their hands were tired. Their arms were tired. Their heads were tired. Even their hair was tired. I guess that you could say the presidential couple was tired.

So they went back to that big White House on Pennsylvania and went to look for a place to sleep. Unfortunately all the White House servants had retired. You see, they too were tired.

The presidential couple stumbled around in the dark since there was no one in the Residence to turn on the light switches. Finally they found the Presidential Stairs and drug his Presidential and First Lady buttskys upstairs. If ever there was a tired President, The Great Man was it. He was tired. It was way past his bedtime.

The Great Man took a rather large snort of Dr. Pudding’s Own Home Brew the next morning and walked into the Oval Office. On the wall behind the desk the White House Interior Decoratin’ Society had picked up just the day before at Ikea, there was a large portrait of Goof-off Sneaze. It was there to inspire the new President not to make a dang fool of hisself.

Beside the Presidential desk, Bessie Mae Hogg looked up and smiled. Finally she would be with her master. She had missed him so much since he had gone away to the Convention. She would have jumped up and rushed him if her 750 pounds would have let her. She decided, for the best, to just lay there and smile her delight.

Next Week Redecoratin’

Uncle Bardie’s Movie of the Week: Disaster & Survival

Once a week on Monday, Uncle Bardie shares a movie with his Readers he gives a big two thumbs up. It will simply be a short excerpt or a trailer. Uncle Bardie might even throw in a reflection on the movie. If so, it will make an appearance below the video. So pop some popcorn and give yourself a treat. This week’s movie is “The 33” (2015):

What would you do if you were trapped underground? For sixty-nine days? With thirty-two other people? And you only had enough food for thirty people for three days?

 

Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick: Centerfield

It’s Thursday again. You know what that means. Uncle Bardie’s Weekly Music Pick. UncleBardiiegives a double thumbs up to this week’s selection: “Centerfield” by John Fogerty:

Okay. It’s that time. Time to go ga-ga over your favorite team in the Series. ‘Course you know what I am talking about. It’s World Series time. Time for the Big Boys to show their stuff as they step up to the plate and swing at America’s Pasttime. Sure, it ain’t the Superbowl, the Final Four, the Stanley Cup or the NBA Finals. It’s something better. It’s Baseball.

Politics in America 29: Transition-itis

Transitions are hard for Presidents to take when they are on their way out. It doesn’t matter which party is on their way outsky and which party is coming in. It’s the same for all Presidents. For four years, they’ve been the Really Big Shew. Now there’s this new guy ready to kick him out of his house and home.

During the transition, the Lame Duck truly is lame. Nobody gives a darn what he says. In fact, the press room at the White House is just about empty. Everybody is pretty well ready to show Lame Duck the door.

Anybody worth anything has left the West Wing and gone to work for the New Guy. The new Mr. President. That’s where all the excitement is.

P F Sneeze had won because The Other Guy–that’s what historians call the losing candidate, The Other Guy lost. Nobody ever remembered The Other Guy’s name either. He was just a pimple on the face of history. Just an annoyance.

P F Sneaze had a Mount Rushmore kind of face chiseled into the memory of the American people like Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt and the Gipper. With his Andrew Jackson looks, he looked like the Great White Father. He looked like a President. That’s why his campaign had urged him to keep his mouth shut and look presidential.

The New President had early on let it be known what he wished to be called. No Jimmy or Abe or Teddy or JFK for him. He was The Great Man. At first, he did it as a joke. After a while, he got used to it and kind of liked it. He had finally come around to Betty Sue and Al Fresco’s opinion that he was going to be the next President. Why stand in the way of fate? he concluded.

He went to see The Big Guy a few days after he won the election. “You look like a President” was all The Big Guy said. It broke his giant-sized heart to see he would be vacating the premises to a Do Naughty. He hadn’t much cared for Little Twerp but at least he was a Do Evie and that was what counted.

Slowly at first, then speedier as time went on toward the January inauguration, the West Wing staff of the Big Guy de-desked their offices to make room for the new team of the Great Man. There were many things the old staff would miss. Things like the champagne-and-caviar vending machine, the special cheese doodles made in the shape of the Big Guy’s face, the exercise room, the bowling alley and the Willy Wonka Chocolates with their melt in your mouth rum. Yummy.

They would miss the White House stationery they used to write their resumes on to impress potential new employers. Even if they swept the floor of the lobby, they were entitled to use that stationery. They would miss calling up the pizza guy and having their pizza order jump ahead of everybody else’s. And those special trips to the Strip ‘n’ Steak Joint. It was there they held their all night planning sessions deciding which concert to go to next.

There were so many things to miss. And they would miss them all. But it was time to move on.

Nest Week A New Administration